De Craciun (Christmas Tales) part 1

Si pentru ca tot se apropie Craciunul, m-am gandit sa va inveselesc putin cu cateva povesti amuzante de Craciun. Here goes!

Funny C/C++ declaration


/* Tot acest cod a fost scris de Pietro Gagliardi in 2007
typedef int number;
class microsoft : public corporation, public enemy<(number) 1> {
public:
microsoft()
{
sanity = 200;
bill_gates = drop_out();
ceo = bill_gates;
while (sanity > 2) {
sleep(2);
sanity--;
}
steve_ballmer = new class doofus;
}

#define our int
#define SUCCESS 1

our year_2007_goals()
{
delete bill_gates;
ceo = steve_ballmer;
sanity -= 200;
return SUCCESS;
}
protected:
int sanity;
class doofus ceo, bill_gates, steve_ballmer;
};

typedef int iq;
const iq of_steve_ballmer = -4, of_steve_jobs = MENSA_MINIMUM - 1,
of_linus_torvalds = MENSA_MINIMUM, of_bill_gates = UNDEFINED;
#include

#define middle
middle class businessMan {
ino_t want_to_go_to_work;
#if speeding_to_work_because_you_are_late
off_t o_jail;
#endif
};

class mate
{
ino_t wannagotoskool;
};

class woman {
#define be
private:
be friend class of_girls;
off_t o_the_mall()
{
for (;;)
mall.go_to(rand()).shop();
}
};

class clown {
!friend class teacher;
friend class mate;
};
---END---

Si vestitul cantec Santa Claus is coming to Town transcris in cod C/C++
# Santa Claus is coming to town

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa_claus <>town

cat /etc/passwd > list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >coal
cat list | grep nice >gift
santa_claus <>town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'

for goodness_sake; do
be_good;
done
---END---

Extra:
Season's Greetings from the world's richest IT Professional! --Bill Gaytes Gates
Grija sa nu-l visati la noapte.
Stergeti-va la ochi si cititi gluma in continuare.

Ce ar face un baiat sa puna mana pe ce-si doreste de Craciun:


It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mum if he could have a new bike. She told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But Sam, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. So his mum told him that would be fine.

Sam went to his room and wrote, 'Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.'

But he wasn't very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote:'Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.'

He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. He tried a third version: 'Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.'

He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied.So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden. He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed. Then he wrote this letter.
'Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you'd better send me a new bike.'